So Close, Yet So Far...

When you want something that is really hard to get. It kills ya inside, doesn't it? doesn't it always. Well there's something i want and need but i cant have. Simply because its really far away. does that make sense? i hate the words no, impossible, never & etc. Its always possible, regardless what so ever(It Has To Be Humanly Possible). I should be able to go where ever i want to. Spiritually or Physically, Im Supposed to be able too. But fuck! The system has us caught again. And the outcome of that control keeps me in this dark hole. Pull me out! Please Do!

-Sean Ray- 20/12/08

*Wrote When Was Out Of Planet Earth*

Smiles All Over. Peace!!

Hey... Well i guess i start here. Firstly i'm so happy right now. Everything just seems perfect. And well i got to give thanks and praise for that. Its holiday time again and well the smiles are everywhere. The past few days of me hanging out at Mid Valley, I see smiles on everyone's faces. It makes me feel good. Finally seeing people come together. Well i ought to say, ITS ABOUT FREAKING TIME!! I mean all the time, lookin' at those stuck up faces(looks like totaly assholes to me). And well this time its all smiles... =) Today turns out to be my birthday aswell. So it just makes everything more perfect. My friends are fuckin' awesome. No doubt about that, i just hope i dont get Egged later. So yeah, im glad people are finally happy and put a halt to all this racist shit. And those JAKIM assholes running wild all over the place. Banning yoga and stuff?? i mean its friggin' yoga!!! Chill the fuck out yo.. lol... well enough of that. I hope the rest of the day is gona be totally of earth and yeh. Its about time we all had a blast yeh. Peace & Love.. Od Yavo Shalom Aleinou =)

Everyone Loved Mercedes...

[Advertorial]

I was going through a magazine today and i found this. And i decided to put this article up and hopefully it shows how i feel and also sends a message.

Everyone Loved Mercedes
By Anne Mullens

The first time I really saw Mercedes-Rae Clarke, she was in Grade 7, standing in the schoolyard, a tiny bird of a girl with big brown eyes and an impish smile. She was 12 years old and my daughter Kate’s new friend.

I had heard about “Merch” from Kate for months. Mercedes had moved into my daughter’s French-immersion class in Victoria earlier that year, a new kid from Calgary thrown among a tight group of students who had been together since kindergarten. Soon she was among the most popular in the crowd. All the boys had a crush on her, and all the girls wanted to be her friend, consulting her on hair and clothes and music and all the things 12-year-old girls spend so much time talking about. Kate would say, “Merch says this” and “Merch does that.”

But this was the first time I’d had a good look at her. And I thought: What a beautiful girl. What eyes! She had a big smile and a big laugh for someone so petite and delicate. The other girls towered over her.

Over the next 18 months, I got to know her, driving her in a carpool to dance class each week, often hosting the sleepovers that seemed to occur almost every weekend at someone’s home. This is the Mercedes I knew: an adventurous, outgoing sprite who loved to shop and socialize, excelled at dance, loved to try out new hairstyles. My daughter Maddy, two years younger than Kate, idolized Merch because, unlike with some of the older girls, when Merch came over, Maddy wasn’t excluded. Merch would brush Maddy’s hair and give her a new hairstyle and include her in all the talk.

A video of Mercedes from a school camping trip last spring shows her sitting by the campfire at night, stuffing one marshmallow after another into her mouth until she reaches an astonishing ten, cheeks puffed out like a crazy chipmunk, and her classmates doubling over in laughter. That was a typical Mercedes moment: an imp with eyes dancing in merriment, playing the crowd.

A few times, on dance-class nights, her mother, Sherry, would call to say she couldn’t get away from work just yet. Could Mercedes stay with us until she could pick her up? Sherry worked at a downtown funeral home as a mortician. I knew her call meant a family was having trouble with a death and she needed to spend extra time with them. “Of course,” I’d say, knowing first-hand the juggle working mothers do to keep children safe, with friends.

Sherry was a hard-working, compassionate, strong mother of three. Along with Mercedes, she had two sons: Chris, a married adult, and Kody, a year older than Mercedes. Sherry had mustered the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship with Mercedes’s father to forge a new life on her own in Victoria with her two younger children. They lived in the suburbs, but Sherry wanted Mercedes to have the benefits of a French-immersion program near her work, and that entailed a long commute to and from town for the two of them every day.

The last time Mercedes was at our house, before the fateful day that changed everything, Kate and Mercedes spent a lazy August afternoon, hanging around our backyard, jumping on the trampoline with Maddy and mugging and posing with our digital camera.

And then, around dinnertime on Monday, September 5, 2005, the day before she was to start Grade 9, Kate burst out of her room, tears streaming down her face. Mercedes, she wailed, had tried the drug ecstasy. She had never tried any drugs before. She was now in hospital on life-support!

Our first reaction was utter disbelief. After phone calls, however, our disbelief turned to shock and despair. The day before, on a sunny Sunday afternoon in a lush Victoria park, Mercedes had decided to swallow a tiny pink pill given to her by a friend. She was with two girlfriends; one had tried ecstasy before and said it was fun. That girlfriend had bought three pills for about $10 each from a guy on the street in downtown Victoria.

When the three girls swallowed the little pink pills, Mercedes began almost immediately to vomit. Soon she complained of a terrible headache and that she couldn’t see. Then her eyes rolled back into her head, and her body contorted in a seizure. One of the girls ran to the nearby house of a family friend to get help.

When Sherry arrived at the hospital about 90 minutes later, her child was unconscious, medical staff working around her. Mercedes never woke up again. Over the next 24 hours, she continued to have seizures, her blood pressure skyrocketed, her temperature soared, she had multiple heart attacks and resuscitations. She was placed on life-support on Sunday night. Everyone prayed a miracle would save her.

By late Monday night, Mercedes’s brain scan showed no activity: The tiny pink pill had rendered her brain-dead. Sherry was then faced with what must be a parent’s most agonizing decision: to disconnect her child from life-support, donate her organs and let her die. The medical staff gave the family time to say goodbye. On Tuesday, the halls outside Mercedes’s room were full of people: cousins, aunts and uncles, and friends. Sherry asked that close friends such as Kate come to see Mercedes.

For kate and me, saying goodbye to Mercedes in the pediatric ICU is a devastating memory that will never leave us. She was lying, pale and motionless, in an ICU bed surrounded by machines, tubes in her arm and throat, her lungs rising and falling to the whoosh of a ventilator. Her beautiful brown eyes, once so lively and bright, stared out, vacant and dull.

Mercedes was removed from life-support that Tuesday evening. Her organs were harvested for transplantation. Because Sherry was a licensed mortician, the hospital allowed her to collect her daughter’s body directly from the operating room. Sherry and her trusted friend and colleague Bill wrapped Mercedes in a blanket and took her that night to the funeral home. There Sherry washed and prepared her daughter’s body for her funeral. To me the tenderness and despair of performing such a final act for one’s own child is heartbreaking.

For Sherry there are important messages she needs the world to know: Mercedes was a good kid from a good home who made a single bad decision.

Sherry says the coroner’s office told her a few weeks later that the drug was pure ecstasy—not laced with crystal meth, as rumour had it. Sherry also wants the world to know: “Ecstasy is seen as the fun drug, the one to take to a party and have a good time with, not nearly as bad as crystal meth. But ecstasy can kill, too.”

And Sherry wants other kids across Canada to remember Mercedes. If they hear friends talking about trying ecstasy, she pleads, have the courage to tell a parent or a teacher: It could save a life. “Mercedes made a mistake for all of you,” she says. “Learn from her mistake.”

A few weeks ago, when we pulled out the digital camera for a family occasion, we stumbled upon a forgotten picture of Mercedes: that last day in August, caught in mid-air while jumping on our trampoline, big smile, hair flying, skinny arms and legs flailing—so alive and vigorous. So full of promise.

And, for the hundredth time these last few months, my heart broke anew.

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I wish she had another chance. Such a nice girl who made one bad decision payed for it with her life. And they say there's a god? Well that explains why our leaders make millions of mistakes and are still alive. Bastards. Peace & Love to Mercedes-Rae Clarke :)

The Great "Eye" In The Sky...

Funny thing is, that its not hidden or kept from the public. Its everywhere!. Its right in your faces!!! Anyone who deals in US Dollars see's it everyday!!!! Its right there!!! The Great "Eye" In The Sky. The Pyramid with the Eye. Like the one in France, The top of the Washington Monument. On the Dollar Bills!! Still Blur? How bout this one??!!

Ring A Bell??

They watch us. They keep reminding us the they are in control. Control of everything. Some conservative's go all out for god and stuff. Well apparently they created the whole conspiracy of "GOD". Well lets move on then, Obama? Bush? Clinton?... Well i wonder who they work for? Well yeah they could change things a little cause they have the public's support but at the end of the day. Their necks are held by "THEM". Ok lets take a minute and look at a few more logos that im sure all of you know. Well you'll see what i mean.




Hell i see it everyday looking out of my window. The cititel logo. Well all in all its all related to 666. I mean i can only say so much here. Go out and check it out more. Youtube and google. you'll find alot of stuff. Trust me alot!! Well here are a few more pictures showing you the hidden symbols of "THEM".

Can you see the OWL?? In the corner??

Well they're everywhere. And still ruling and controlling us all. All the Genocides, Assassinations, Wars & etc. All caused and done by "THEM". Well now I'm going to give y'all the names so you can go do your research yourself. Freemason's, The Illuminati, Bohemian Grove & The Skull & Bones Connection. Check em out. It'll freak you out. Well it did freak me out at first. But hey, what can ya do. Right? Peace! And lots of love. Here are the logo's of the groups.

Bohemian Grove

322

So yeah, Hope that made some sense to ya'll.

War...

This is a speech by the almighty Haile Selassie and it was turned into a song called War by Bob Marley. The speech was delivered to the United Nations in 1968. But this version is just tweaked a little bit to suite our situation.

"That until the philosophy which holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned: That until there are no longer first-class and second class citizens of any nation; That until the color of a man's skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes; That until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race; That until that day, the dream of lasting peace and world citizenship and the rule of international morality will remain but a fleeting illusion, to be pursued but never attained and until the ignoble but unhappy regimes that hold our brothers in Afghanistan, in Iraq, and in Malaysia in subhuman bondage have been toppled and destroyed; until bigotry and prejudice and malicious and inhuman self-interest have been replaced by understanding and tolerance and goodwill; until all mankind stand and speak as free human beings, equal in the eyes of the Almighty; until that day, the whole world shall not know peace. We humans will fight if necessary and we know that we shall win as we are confident in the victory of good over evil" Every where is war, War in the east, War in the west, War war war, war War down south & up north.

As i keep saying over and over again. Break free from the system. One Love

Down Side...

Here we go again... the down side of things... doesn't this happen every few months or so? well i think its simply just plain fucked up. This is the time where everything seems to be at the down. Your friendships might start to get a little messed up, your love life might just fall apart. Or hell, you might even get fooled or back stabbed. I pretty much hate all that, but there is one thing that i really really hate. The hate and rage i feel for that is probably how Lucifer feels about Jesus. And that would be people who act like they got everything all planned out. Basically they get on your good side and end up fucking you up. I mean come on. I've been through that like a thousand times already. And there still seems to me smart asses who want to cross that path. Well sorry mate, I ain't gona take your shit. I rather just spill it all. Ok now enough of that. I somehow went into a blind rage of anger earlier today. There was a lot of swearing and i was pretty much gona slam all my things all over the place. But somehow i managed to restrain myself and took a walk. That let to me breathing really hard and before i knew it tears were about to stream down. Honestly, that freaked me out like fuck! I've never felt like that before. And well lets just say i ended up calling the Befrienders. No shit. I mean i laugh when i look back at it now. But it really freaked me out. Oh and btw, This is for "YOU", Im sorry mate but you just simply deserve it.

Thinking Times.

Hey... well im back here at kp(kuala pilah). my mums home town. its been like 6 months since i've been back here. coffee(my dog) has grown a lil and he has kids now. 2 little pups. i guess he and the neighbour's dog got excited. haha. anyway, being back here has got me thinking. life here seems so much simpler and peaceful. there's probably about 10 000 people living in this town. its kinda like everyone noes everyone. which makes it kinda interesting. i guess im just feeling alittle more alone here. on friday we had the reunion thing and being with hanging with erman doing weird ass shit at night and with reggie and wedgie. made me feel so happy, it was bliss. And now comming here and being alone got me thinking. watching the people around me, most with smiles on their faces. this town is so small that there is a signboard downtown which shows how many accidents they've had since march 2008. the total is 22. 2 of those were fatal. sad but true. truth be told i wonder sometimes how would life be if i went to school here. cause the highschool's look really cool. they were built by the british and still look like it. and well the girls arn't that bad either. haha. also with it being deepavali and all. i remember the old days when i used to come here to see my couzin before he moved to singapore. we used to hang out awhole lot and it was tradition that we'll light candles all around the house and have a barbeque. the weird thing was that we dont celebrate deepavali but even our chinese neighbours light candles just to be part of it. and today i lit 3 candles at the temple. i took a little stroll over there at around 7 to pay my respects for once. I lit those three candles for these reasons. Love, Family & Health. I truly hope that it would help in a way. Its been a beautiful weekend no doubt about it. I just wanted to share it with someone. I love kuala pilah and maybe one day i'd live here. but for now, KL's my place and hey, atleast i got coffee to come back with me. Its not gona be so lonely after all. So all in all its been a really sensitive weekend. But a good one. :)

-Sean Ray

caught in a "system"

The system. Its controlled by them. Those who we can't name. The signs are there but not many see it. Some do and say nothing about it, the others who tried breaking free. Ended up dead. Isn't it sad how we live by a code, by ROUTINE. Yes, the ROUTINE. Wake up, start our 9 -5's, hang with friends and head back. Most working people do it. Its all part of the system, we follow and everything goes to plan. On the other hand, We have some who break it and try to raise awareness. Say John Lennon, Gandhi, Marley. They tried to teach but ended up dead. Its all a conspiracy. The whole thing. We're all under control some how. Whether its by religion or laws or just simple programming. We stick to the system. Every time you get an injection or take medicine. Do you know what your putting into yourself? Exactly. Cigarettes kill and cause more problems that marijuana. Marijuana heals but it also helps us break free easier. Guess why its illegal. We are all just following the flow. Religion keeps us from doing things. Some say its Ok some say its not. Is it really called faith? Aren't we all human beings after all? what separates us from one another? Color? Race? Religion? Heck we all come from the same place. Why should you be any different? Doesn't all the zebras look the same? probably different in size but what about color? The only difference in animals is the difference between male and female. There's no Black, White, Mexican, Chinese, Muslim, Christian, or Hindu animals. They all look the same. Only from different mothers. So when will we all break free and embrace one another as a brother or sister. Yeah, people have different views on things but do we really have to despise someone for who they are? Do we have to convert to marry someone we love? Is that really necessary? I don't think so. At times i make fun of religion or races but its only to see how people defend it. To me its kind of sad. I don't really care what i am. To me, I'm Sean. And there's only going to be one of me and no more. Earth is just going to repeat its cycle, over and over again. But each time, people awaken and they get gunned down. Think of the people who invented the things we use. They must have been completely mental to come up with such things. If someone were to come up with a new version of the ABC. He or she would end up in a correctional facility. Most of the worlds population is just blinded and some just plain stuck. Break out! Find out who you really are. Live life to the fullest while you have the chance. Cause after this, your not going to be YOU anymore. You probably wont exist anymore. Come on people. Think and get out of the system while you can. Cause they will always have the power. And only a few will understand what i mean by THEY. I'm finally reaching that stage where i can sit back and laugh at things going on. Cause its just plain sad. Thank you.

-Sean Ray Anthony-

Blurry...

Haven't you ever felt like things are not the way they should be? Or probably things aren't the way it seems? I'm sure you have. Well all i can say is get used to it. haha. No really. cause thats all your or should i say we're going to get. You might think you want something but then again do you really? Why go through all these helpless emotions when your not even sure if its what you want. The way i see it, FIND OUT!. Don't hang around to see where it takes us. Cause trust me, it might be a road you don't want to go down. Its true. Every things so blurry, you probably could see 5 meters ahead in life. After that, its all a blur. One big bad blur. I think its kind of sad to expect things from people when you know you might never get it. Wouldn't doing something about it make things easier? Speeds up the process don't you think? Well i hope someone can relate to this, cause otherwise it'd seem like I'm a total utter moron. Oh and yes, this is from that dark place we all have inside. :)

There are babes. All babes are hot, thats why they're called babes. But on the on the other hand we have total screwed in the head babes. Which take small problems and make it into the end of their life's. YES, we're talking about Britney, Paris & Lindsay! if i had to choose. i think I'll go with Lohan. Cause she's younger but thats not the point here. My point is that all three of them are total retards. For one shaving bald does not help! Britney had amazing hair and well she was all cool back in the days. And after she got married to god knows who look what happened. Then we have Lindsay and Paris. Getting drunk and driving. i mean come on, they're frigging rich. Don't tell me getting a driver is too much for them. Or are they trying to be cool? Its the frigging USA! the police actually do their job. not Malaysia! And sex tapes seems to be a fad these days. Paris looked like a goddamn rat in it no wait, more like a cat. Not that i watched it. Just saying from what I've heard. But most of all. all musicians are looked up to, made role models of and by getting in this sort of stupid retarded trouble is making a fool out of them. Young kids are living up to them and will soon follow. Britney's children have to live with all the stupid things she does and they might just end up like her in the end. so frankly, all three of them are doped in the head.

Music?

Wow, where do i start? well i think I'll start here... I Totally Love Rock! From Classic rock, emo rock, hard rock to metal!! Im into bands such as Led Zeppelin, Guns & Roses, Motley Crue, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd and a whole lot more. thats the classic rock side of me. my dream is to go to a Led Zeppelin concert but that dream is totally a fantasy.I'm pretty much into classic rock because it has that whole peace and freedom ring to it. it gives me that whole hippie lifestyle and experience. And then there's Emo rock, bands or artist that i absolutely love here is Lifehouse, James Blunt, Coldplay, Oasis & Keane. I think their songs and lyrics have a really huge impact on my life. Its something you could relate to based on your problems. Now Hard Rock is a totally different category. this is where i express my stoked feelings. Whenever i feel lazy or bored hard rock comes to that rescue. I call this mild head banging, where my long hair goes all over and you feel this rush to your head. And last but not least we have METAL!! when i listen to metal i can totally express my hate feelings and my anger. you could just headbang jump around or even punch the wall to let out frustrations! or simply have a couple of drinks to reach a mid high and hardcore headbang to get that absolute amazing rush of highness. metal bands that i totally worship are Cradle Of Filth, Korn, Caliban, Soilwork, Lamb Of God, Children Of Bodom, Dimmu Borgir and the list goes on. so if you ever happened to check out any of these bands write to me. if any of these are of your interest write back. Ouh and not to forget the most radical Stonner Rock band ever Incubus. They totally rule like no one can!

The Price Of Petrol...

Lately the price of petrol went up to Rm2.70 per liter. Why? Isn't Malaysia an oil producing nation? doesn't Petronas reel in billions of dollars yearly? Why is Malaysia up to Rm2.70 per liter? Just the other day Saudi Arabia announced that there is no oil shortage in the world. So why are oil prices hitting the roof and going on? There doesn't seem to be an answer. The way i see it is that people assume that things in the future are going to be so and so and that affects the price of petrol. i think that is just plain stupidity. prices of things shouldn't be any different unless there is a current issue that threatens it . I think this is a easy way to make money. Oil producing companies announce there is a shortage and prices go up and keep going up and they make millions over night. yeah, smart way to make money but it affects the life's of billions. just a few years ago it was just a little over $30 a barrel. and today its about $140 a barrel. does that make sense? all this because there is apparently a shortage. but Saudi just announced there isn't a shortage. So why are prices still way high? What I'm trying to say is screw the amount per barrel in US is. Malaysia is a freaking oil producing nation and we pay Rm2.70 per liter. WHY THE HELL FOR!? The picture below compares oil prices of oil producing nations

Poop On The Floor.

Have you ever walked into a toilet cause you need to take a leak really bad? And when you walk in the smell of other people who shat all over the place makes you puke? ain't that a two in one? i mean damn! it smells worse then a wet cat who just ate a rat and spent 5 years in solitary confinement. no seriously. this is for the [guys] i understand if you can miss while peeing. [everyone] how the hell can you miss while you take a big big poop! i mean what are you trying to be spider man while you take a shit? the way out toilets are NOT in IACT though are really bad. looks like a "pootomic bomb" blew crap all over the place.

We really need to learn, well not me but others needs to learn to take a crap or pee right. how hard can it be? seems to be rocket science for some. i think that toilet training should be a subject in primary school. same way we all train our dogs and cats. CERTAIN humans need that too. So please please learn to crap and pee properly cause its gonna add puke to the whole situation. And no offense to those who pee and poop properly. Thank You

New Breed @ One Pub Cafe , KL

New Breed @ One Pub Cafe , KL - 7th June 2008 @ 12pm-9pm



Click To Enlarge


Event : New Breed

Day/Date : Saturday , 7th June 2008
Time : 12PM - 9PM
Venue : One Pub Cafe ,
Street: -
City/Town: Kuala Lumpur
Ticket Price : RM 15

Contact : 016-3640198
Email : n/a
Website : n/a
Organizers : Nu:Breax Entertainment , illusion metal

Artist : Anewfall , Restraint ,Incarnation , Elegy , Deadscore , Asthalin , Blind Terror , Black Territory , Portrait Of Murder

Sean: Im Going For This Awesome Gig. Anyone Who Wants To Tag.
Call Me - 012-925-6058

Soilwork Live In KL!!!!

Sunday 24-05-08 - Ruums Kl. Soilwork totally owned Sunday night. And well the opening local bands weren't that bad either. All in all it was freaking awesome!. The Pit was totally hardcore i swear. And there was even a Wall Of Death!. Check out the videos below.

Stabbing The Drama - Live

For the rest of the videos please visit www.youtube.com/fireryfreezer

My Side

Hello, my name is Sean Ray Anthony. Im currently studying at IACT (institute Advertising Communication Training). IACT is based in Damansara Uptown. Well I'm writing this first blog because I'm in my Professional writing class. And this is an Assignment. The theme for this blog is basically about me and my thoughts. Reason I choose this topic and theme is cause I'm really dark (laughs) and also I needed a place to express myself. Well for a start my hobbies are Playing Ice Hockey, Playing Music and Jamming, and spending countless hours on the net.
The hobby that I'm going to blog about today is Ice Hockey. I've been playing Ice Hockey for 8 years now. And I've played 2 international tournaments. And I have to say that it gave me alot of experience. I also had the chance to express my leadership role due to me being the captain. I've always wanted to play this sport ever since I was 5. I never thought I'd get the chance to play in here in Malaysia. But all it took was one trip too Sunway Pyramid and there it was. My dream had come true. And last but not least this blog is for anyone who wants to get to know me.
That’s all for now. Stay tuned for more.

KL Cobras



Me With The Trophy